Writing to Learn Who We Are and to Make a Difference

The dramatist, novelist, and playwright, George Bernard Shaw, who won the Nobel Prize in Literature in 1925, said; one uses a glass mirror to see his face, but he uses works of art to see his soul. We know that writers write to tell a story, or to entertain, to teach or inspire, but we also write to learn who we are, and in doing so, we learn about one another.

Prompted by the combination of curiosity, imagination, reflection and opinion, we are driven toward our craft like a moth propelled toward the light on a warm, summer night.  What interests, beliefs or passions do I have that interest another?  What frustrations, regrets, or struggles could lurk inside me that might cause me to behave one way and another individual to react differently? If I learn who I am, and who I am not, will I learn about others?  Will others learn about themselves from my work?

Some writers hear a story in the news, or from a friend, colleague or loved one, that affects them so deeply that they would have more luck cutting off their own shadow than to let go of the impression.   Reaching inside to touch the writer’s soul, the story throbs like an open wound that won’t heal.  It inspires her to question herself, her motives, the possibilities, the differences, and those of others.

She wonders what pain could be so bad that a parent would suffer the lives of the children to whom he or she gave life? What could have possibly caused such deep and destructive madness?  Was the line that separated rational from irrational thinking so frail?  Similarly, why did the politician put himself and his own family before the people he pledged to serve and protect?  Does selfishness and greed truly run that deep and if so, where does it come from and could anything truly ever satisfy that need?  Likewise, why did the business owner turn the young man away simply because he was different?  Couldn’t the employer see the integrity, honor, morality and ethics inside the boy as clearly as he could see the blue jacket he wore?  Or did he have no time, energy or compassion to bother looking?  Moreover, why couldn’t the head football coach see what was so obvious, that the high school sophomore merely needed a mentor, someone who cared and believed in him, and would make the boy feel worthy, unlike the way his father had made him feel all these years? 

What is inside me that draws me to this story?

How does a person become who he is?

What lurks inside each one of us that has the potential to cause us to treat one another so carelessly?

What is inside me that could be inside others?

What is in others that could be inside me?

What drives us to think the way we think, or feel the way we feel?  Or act the way we act?

We all have questions, whether we are writers or not, but it is the writer, (or motivated individual), who digs like a locust seeking a nest in the sand, tunneling deeply for solution, who seeks to find the dwelling place within himself, rather than settle for building his house upon the sand. The writer  knows that it is inside the tunnel where he will find meaning and security, to help him fight the external influences surrounding him, rather than seek outside where life’s pressures have the power to suck him into self-destruction, or sweep him away like a broken shell in the rip-tide.

Like the locust on its quest, writers dig for an outcome, a solution, the puzzle piece that fits, an answer, or hope.  YET, unlike the oblivious and shallow, self-serving  locust, (greedy politician, irrational bad parent, or arrogant and dispassionate coach…)  it is deep within ourselves, as writers and human beings, where we should seek the answers that are universal, because what is inside each of us eventually metamorphoses into, or helps to create, what is outside us. For, isn’t it true that whatever compels some one else could surely, in a different circumstance, influence each one of us and, likewise; whatever might drive me could sway another?

William Kenower writes, in the September issue of Writer’s Digest;  You are not your books, your awards, or your rejection letters, or your fan mail, or your website. You are what interests you most, what pulls your attention like a magnet, what wakes you up with a jolt of excitement, the ideas that crave expression. Nothing is more unique to you than what’s going on internally, within the confines of your own mind.

In other words, you are not what you create on, or want from, or receive from, the outside. It is what is inside each one us that matters, and that contributes to, or creates, what is outside us, not the other way around. It is what is inside of us that makes us who we are and it is the desire to learn who we are, to learn what interests or excites us, what we believe, and what we feel and think, that inspires us to write (and to live how we live).

Kenower has a line in this article that I love: he writes that he would like to say he never looks for himself where he is not, meaning he wishes he could admit that those external rewards or forces do not drive him, the way his desire to learn who he is and how he thinks and feels should drive him.  Yet, like each of us, he is human and admittedly, we all look for ourselves at times, in places we shouldn’t.  We look to the external reward; the paycheck, the trophy, the win, someone’s appreciation, praise, respect, admiration or love, for satisfaction, but it is what is within each one of us that truly matters and ultimately, what creates, contributes to, or obtains all of those things on the surface.

It is within us that we find the greatest lesson to share, and the most profound story to weave, because we are all connected in this life and each one of us, (or someone we know or love), at one time or another, has shared , or will share, the same desires, dreams, challenges, failures, pains, insecurities or questions. We all, at one time or another, have a similar tale to tell.

Likewise, Maria Walley tells us that we (writers, ..yet really any artist)  are in the business of selling our vulnerability.  After all,  she writes, we’re taking the innermost parts of ourselves, our ideas, and translating them into words intended to provoke thought, and in some cases (many cases- in my view), emotion. It can be painful to do, but it’s also what makes good writing worth reading.

It is the ability to be human that resonates with the reader and it is the tender spots the writer hits upon that the reader studies most closely, dwelling upon longer, to which she pays more attention, that allows her to see her own reflection on the page.

We can not turn in a direction we do not see, or toward a preference, inclination, or opinion to which we do not understand, therefore; it is those moments of awareness, recognition and familiarity to which our readers relate, rather than to the make and model of a neighbor’s car, the number of trophies an athlete displays on his shelf, or the size of the bank president’s paycheck, that excites or interests the reader most. The allure and appeal of the external reward is merely the backdrop for the internal magnificence of what is truly complex and captivating inside each one of us…. that has the power to inspire the most, and to make the biggest difference. 

Writing to learn who we are is to write about ALL of us. Although truly solving the puzzle of the internal workings of our minds is daunting, it is the process itself that propels us forward in our craft. To pursue what inspires us, should be the journey the writer pursues, not merely the external payoffs we might receive.

Gertrude Stein said; A writer should write with his eyes and the painter paints with his ears,  meaning we seek with our senses, with our questions, and with our hearts.  Consequently, we spin together that which we see inside and around us, that which we hear, and that which we question, and we mix it together, before spilling it outward in its color and brilliance, onto the page, or the canvas, of our work, for all the world to ponder. 

Like an open wound before the surgeons hands are upon it, the writer’s vulnerability and internal workings lie exposed- for the reader who opens herself and her own vulnerability and pain with us, as we , the writer and the reader together- as one,  await its repair, even if that healing comes only in the form of self-recognition, self-inquiry, resonance, hope or acceptance.

Yes, we write to tell a story, to entertain, to teach, or inspire, and maybe even to make a living, but we also write to learn who we are and in doing so, to learn about one another, and likewise, we learn about others to learn about ourselves, and ultimately, we write to make a difference.

Life without books.

Imagine life without books!

As I hiked across the internet, searching for answers to this idea, I stumbled across a blog called “ The Reader Complex”, written by Kubra. In this blog, Kubra writes; “ The reason why authors write, readers read and write reviews is to unwind, to reflect, to be challenged, to be entertained, or to be transported to another time, place or world. All of these reasons, let alone the need to do so, would dissolve.”

Sure, now a days we can turn on the television, open up our lap tops, press our fingers to our tablets or stick ear buds in our ears to hear a great story, learn a lesson, or be entertained, but it isn’t the same as holding a book in our hands, feeling the crisp pages between our fingers, and devouring words like a baby guzzling down milk after he wakes from an especially long nap.

Every morning, before I wake my kids, or even before I gulp down my first cup of coffee, I run with my cell phone in hand, ear buds in both ears. Like most people, I am unable to run and “read” at the same time, therefore; I listen to my Andy Stanley sermon, or Joel Osteen or my news channel, instead. Admittedly, there is a time and a place for that type of non-book, media technology that educates, informs or entertains, but it will never become a substitute for the good, old fashioned book, where we explore the world, or the mind of an individual we admire or fear.

Writers write so that readers can read. Whether we write to an audience who prefers media over books, we must still write. Writers will always have a job. But, the possibility of someday ridding our society of books, of succumbing fully to mass media technology, and in the process signing a death warrant for the beloved book, would be a massive mistake.

In Ray Bradbury’s; Fahrenheit 451, we see a society that has made that mistake. Because of the collaborative dwindling attention span, as individuals fall victim to the easier, quicker task of opening a computer, or turning on a television, and the eagerness to censor or protest anything that does not conform to what the individual feels is adequate, books were outlawed and destroyed. It was believed that books provided too much opportunity to think on one’s own, to form one’s own opinion, rather than submit to what the government or society thinks is best.

Despite that the protagonist in the story begins to wonder if books of the past may have had the potential to contain messages that might actually save society, rather than destroy it, most other characters in the story had become too mindless to understand his questions, let alone agree with his theory.

To further this point, the former English professor in the story spends years regretting that he did not see this coming, that he did not stand up for what he believed when he first saw the signs of destruction heading his way.

When we look around us now, and see the division in our world, and the differences in viewpoints as to how individuals perceive right and wrong, injustice and fairness, discrimination and tolerance, we see this potential concept to ban books in its infancy. If we can change how someone else thinks, the way he or she perceives the world, perhaps we can change society altogether, so that it becomes the way we want it to be. Perhaps we can reshape it into the world we prefer, the one in which we were raised to believe would be perfect, almost utopian. If we could rid ourselves of the viewpoints of others who disagree with us, we may have a chance. So, why not start with the destruction of and banning of books?

But, then I ask, isn’t that how we shaped our thought processes and became the individuals we are today? By reading books, forming our own opinions, becoming the unique and special individuals we are meant to be. It was that way for me- growing up, surrounded by piles of books.

However, I am sorry to say, as I watch this new generation walk around with ear buds plugged into their ears all day- well beyond a simple, thirty minute early morning run, with fingers pressing cell phone keys as they sit across from companions at a dinner table, and x-boxes blaring from bedrooms in which they isolate themselves from their families, I wonder if perhaps the destruction of books has already begun.

As the English Professor Faber in Fahrenheit 451 would say, “why didn’t I say something, or stand up for books, when I could, before it was too late”. Why must we ignore the signs coming our way now, as book stores go out of business, replaced by technology stores and e-books. We know the value of the written word and we know what happens when we take what we value for granted. It eventually disappears like water evaporating in the heat. One minute it is there and the next minute it is gone. Just as we take our children’s childhood for granted when it is here with us; then suddenly it is gone and we wonder where it went.

In the “Reader Complex ‘blog, there is a poem I felt fitting for this topic. I hope the creator of The Reader Complex is okay with me sharing it. (Look up The Reader Complex blog when you can!):

“I opened a book and in I strode.
Now nobody can find me.
I’ve left my chair, my house, my road,
My town and my world behind me.
I’m wearing the cloak, I’ve slipped on the ring,
I’ve swallowed the magic potion.
I’ve fought with a dragon, dined with a king
And dived in a bottomless ocean.
I opened a book and made some friends.
I shared their tears and laughter
And followed their road with its bumps and bends
To the happily ever after.
I finished my book and out I came.
The cloak can no longer hide me.
My chair and my house are just the same,
But I have a book inside me.”
― Julia Donaldson

The point here, is to appreciate the beauty and value of books and what they represent in our lives and to never take them so much for granted that they eventually become extinct. A life without books is a life without expression, creativity, imagination, inspiration, hope, reflection, and education in its rawest and most meaningful form. It is a life I could not imagine.

It’s All Good!

As a big fan of Joel Osteen, the non-denominational Senior Pastor of Lakewood Church in Texas, with his positive messages about maintaining faith- even when “the chips are down”, I compare his mission to the writer’s task; “to share faith through her stories”.  While Osteen’s messages are directed toward the spiritual audiences open to them, the message of the writer is directed toward readers who are open to new possibilities, exciting new adventures, or to a life lesson. 

I have emphasized many times in my past blogs how our mistakes, or our struggles, are often our greatest teachers, just as Joel Osteen tell us difficult times are placed before us to make us stronger, and to prepare us for something bigger and better.  If you keep doing good even while something bad is happening to you, a new door will eventually open through which you are sure to find happiness and peace. 

I recognize that Osteen has his critics who say he is merely a self-help guru or motivational speaker, who does not preach true theological issues, and for some- that description fits.  As for me, I like the idea of self-help, life- coaching, motivational speaking, or anyone else who has a message of positive thinking.  Regardless of “how” preachers preach, or the extent to which they convey bible stories or messages of faith and positive thinking, I believe whole- heartedly that God’s main goal for us is to love one another, forgive one another and help one another, through whatever positive means we have available.  Perhaps, through love,  positive thinking and faith….. 

Whether we have a talent to teach young children, or to coach young athletes, or to preach soul- searching sermons, or to convey positive messages as writers- in order to make the world a better place, – so be it. There is a place for us to congregate to hear the Word of the Lord, within the confinements of our churches- for whatever religion we follow, and there is a place for us to open our minds and our hearts to the same, simple messages Joel Osteen preaches in his sermons…. through story. 

When I say simple I mean; easy to understand, basic suggestions of ways to become better brothers and sisters to one another, -yet far from simple in the meaning.   The idea to have faith, even when the going gets tough, is a large, and important message which we all need to receive, whether we listen to Joel or not, whether we are teachers or students, employers or employees,  parents or children,  church- goers or not,  writers or readers, or anyone else.  Our mistakes and our days of difficulty ARE our greatest teachers, but as students of life, it is up to each of one us to recognize our mistakes and our challenges, and grow stronger from them, rather than to succumb to their weight, and wither and die.

Joel Osteen uses Good Friday and the Resurrection as an example.  When Jesus was crucified on that dark Friday, the disciples, and Mary, and his other followers, would not have considered that Friday to be “good”.  On the contrary, it was the darkest day they experienced in their lifetimes so far.  Not only was their leader and friend and son taken from them, but their faith was in jeopardy as well.  Could they have been wrong?  Were they following the wrong man?  It was not until Sunday’s arrival of the resurrection, that their doubts were eased, their sadness changed to happiness, and their fear turned to courage.  Like a rainbow after the storm, a new door to brighter days will open- only once our courage allows for us to unlatch the door that has locked us in for so long. 

If we, as writers, can keep doing good while we challenge ourselves to balance our family time with working and writing time, judge ourselves less harshly when we are rejected or fail,  push through our periods of self-doubt, reconnecting with our absent muse, we can overcome those  times when something bad is happening.  We can turn our dark Friday into a good Friday as we are resurrected.

As I go through my own personal, family challenges at this time, I continue to believe that everything does happen for  a reason. God places obstacles in our path so that we can become stronger individuals, ….so that we become better equipped later to do something great, perhaps make a difference in someone else’s life without even knowing it.  If somehow, our struggles ultimately help us in some way to become better people, who commit less sins upon others, or help even one other person as a result of our own resurrection, then those bad times are a blessing in disguise.  The trick is not to quit, or give up faith, or to break under pressure, but to keep doing good- even when all we want to do is lay down and cry. 

Writing is not easy.  It is a painful sort of joy, but it is a part of a writer that is as real as an arm or a leg.  The writer can no more not write than she can stop breathing.  The key is to keep faith. Keep hope. Keep doing good even when something bad is happening.  In the end, when the new door opens and what we were waiting for and hoping for appears before us, because we never gave up our faith, or our writing, we will realize those bad things that happened, those mistakes we made, those times when someone else let us down, those times we failed, will have been “ all good” in the end, toward the bigger picture. 

In the end, it’s all good.  The bad times make us better people. 

Taking One Step At A Time

Like running a marathon, the first step in writing, or anything – I suppose,  often seems daunting because we can not see the finish line from where we stand at the starting point. Yet, if we take one step at a time, setting mini- goals along the way, we are able to pull that finish line closer, with each benchmark we reach. 

Anthony Robbins, businessman and author, says, “ The only impossible journey is the one you never begin.”  If we do not at least attempt the crossing, taking it step by step, we prophesy our failure. Whereas, on the contrary, the likelihood of reaching our finish line increases with each step we take.

I recently read the New York Times Bestseller, A Long Walk to Water, written by Linda Sue Park, based on the true story of two individuals struggling to survive in Sudan in different time periods, which supports this idea to take one step at a time toward success.  Both of the individuals in this story endure against challenges most of us could never imagine.  It is their perseverance and determination not to give up that ultimately saves them, despite the obstacles in their paths which they must overcome. 

Set in 1985 during civil unrest, during his quest to survive,  eleven year old protagonist, Salva Mawien Dut Ariik lags behind the group with whom he travels on foot toward a Kenyon refugee camp, and he cries so hard he could hardly breath, when his uncle finds him. Pointing to what Salva’s uncle decides to be a first benchmark,  he asks Salva, “ Do you see that group of bushes?  You need only to walk as far as those bushes. Can you do that?”  Salva admits he could see the bushes, which do not look too far away.  Then, when he and his uncle reach the bushes, his uncle asks Salva if he sees the clump of rocks up ahead and so they walk to the rocks.  “After that, a lone acacia… another clump of rocks…. a spot bare of everything except sand.”  They continue that way for the rest of the walk.  It was a long walk, but the journey becomes less formidable when broken down into smaller pieces.

Similarly, the other main character in the story, living in contemporary 2008, eleven year old Nya, walks eight hours a day to fetch water for her family.  Her journey is also challenging, and like Salva, she struggles to reach her own finish line, day after day.  Both characters ultimately achieve their purposes, by taking their journeys one step at a time, while neither individual in the story gives up, despite the many times they wish they could.

Likewise, Lao Tzu, the Chinese philosopher, quotes the following , “A Journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.”  As long as we take that first step, and then a second step, and a third, and so forth, never giving up, we will eventually arrive at our destination.

In Ann Lamont’s book, “ Bird by Bird”, she recounts how her brother, ten years old at the time, had a report on birds due for school.  Despite that he had three months to do it, he waited until it was due the next day, feeling immobilized by the “hugeness of the task” ahead.  Ann recalls how her father sat down next to her brother, placing his arm around his shoulder, sharing the following advice, “ Bird by bird, buddy. Just take it bird by bird”.  By breaking down our task into smaller segments, the undertaking shrinks in size.  In fact, it becomes downright achievable, rather than overwhelming!

This idea is further illustrated by Jeff Goins, Writer, Speaker, and Entrepreneur, “ You write a sentence, then a paragraph, then maybe if you’re lucky, an entire chapter. Writing happens in fits and starts, in bits and pieces.  It’s a process.”   Like anything else we do, from following a recipe -one ingredient at a time, to crocheting a blanket- one stitch at a time, to painting a house -one room at a time, we progress, piece by piece, bit by bit, -one step at a time.

Stephen King advises new writers to keep going, without stopping,” If you fail to write consistently, the excitement for your idea may begin to fade. When the work starts to feel like work, that moment can become”, in King’s words, the  smooch of death, therefore; he advises to “just take it one word at a time”.

In other words, keep at it, look at only one fragment at a time, while staying in the present, remaining mindful of the task in front of you at this moment.  Do not fear the future or the possibility of failure, and don’t let the past hinder you.  Just keep going, one foot in front of the other.

We do not stop driving our car at night, toward our destination, because the end point is not within sight.  Our headlights light up the road only so many feet in front of us, but we know eventually we will get there- so we keep going, taking our journey one street, one mile, one town- at a time, seeing more of the road before us the further we proceed.

That is the way we must think when it comes to writing, or again- to anything else we desire to pursue.  We may feel immobilized with fear as we stare at that first blank page before us, dreading the other blank, wordless pages to follow.  Yet, those pages will only remain blank if our thoughts and ideas are never permitted to escape past the gated borders of our minds, to their freedom, and on to the paper where they belong.

Unless we take the first step, the finish line we pursue will forever remain out of our reach.

Failure and Practice

We achieve success through failure. By learning how not to do something, we learn how to do it correctly. When we fail, we learn.  The old proverb, originated by Thomas H. Palmer, meant to encourage children to do their homework, and later popularized by Edward Hickson in his Moral Song, If at first you dont succeed, try, try again, applies to any task in which individuals engage. Whether it relates to school work, a job, sports, exercise and dieting, a hobby or to anything else- such as writing, the idea not to let failures hamper us will ultimately lead us to success.

In E.G. Scholl’s  Blog, Roll Call: Failures , the author writes the following: Failure can exist in our lives without success, but success cannot exist without failure.  He explains that we cant avoid failures and in fact, we should admit when we have faults, make mistakes or allow fear to hinder us. He further says those people, who are least afraid of failing, are the same people who are most likely to succeed.

Using this idea of failures as a preface to success, I point to another famous quote to inspire us to reach the success we are meant to achieve; Practice Makes Perfect . Without failure, and practice, our chances to realize our dream diminish. 

This phrase Practice Makes Perfect, originated in the mid 1500s in the American English language, points to the importance of practicing in order to achieve.  Baseball players, as well as other professional athletes, practice over and over before they take their places on the field at the packed stadium.  Musicians practice their instruments many times before going on stage in front of a live audience.

To further support this notion, Martha Graham, a modern dancer and choreographer quoted the following:

        Practice means to perform, over and over again in the face of all obstacles, some act of vision, of faith, of desire. Practice is a means of inviting the perfection desired

Whether ones pursuit is to dance, play ball, create music, or produce art, it takes practice to get there, and along the way there WILL be mistakes and failures.

All my life, from the time I was five years old, I loved to ice skate (in addition to reading and writing of course), and later as an adult- to play tennis.  I was never a natural athlete, so I had to work hard to do well.  Really Hard!  Consequently, in time I did learn, after much practice and many falls on the ice, to skate well.  But, when I got older and wanted to play tennis it wasnt as easy. Nevertheless, I remembered that it was practicing every day at the ponds in the woods by my house, that helped me learn to skate, so I applied it to tennis. 

After taking tennis lessons several times and always being the worst in the class, I decided to practice alone at the wall, in a park by our house.  The first time I hit the ball against the wall I missed- horribly.   I could not even hit the ball twice in a row, yet I never gave up. After going to the wall several times a week for an entire summer I could finally keep that ball going at least 35 times, without missing.  It was practice, and messy, really bad playing that taught me.  I told myself I was not giving up and I didnt.

In writing, we must practice every day if we want to get better.  Sure, there are some of the lucky ones who may have natural talent, perhaps J.K. Rowling or Stephen King, to name two, but for many of the rest of us it takes practice to make perfect.  By combining practice with study (learning the craft), participating in critique groups, and learning from our failures, we have the ability to make our dream come true as writers.

For me, I have dreamt of becoming a writer since I was between five and eight years old and now, many years later I still have that dream.  While it is difficult to find the time these days to write every day, I do try as often as possible to practice write the same way I practiced hitting that tennis ball several years back. I learned the hard way that to fear failure will only lead to more failure, therefore;   I know now that, through failure and practice,  it is only a matter of time before I succeed.

Wrong Turns

Often, it is in the wrong turns we take that we find our next story, or the narrative that will connect universally with our audience.

When a writer seeks an idea for her next novel she might look toward a current event depicting a heroic action or tragedy, or she might research through pieces of history that intrigue, inspire, sadden or anger her. Or perhaps, she will look within herself for her own tragedies or pain. Regardless of the place from which our stories might come -the objective is to find and write the story that stirs our hearts, connects with a piece of our soul or haunts us so much that we can’t let it go,  until the story enhances our life in some way or it ultimately heals us.

Over the course of the many years I have been reading and writing, I’ve read and written projects inspired by  loss, regrets, abandonment, dysfunction, and forgiveness to name only a few, but the theme that seems to thread its way through my own work  lately is  guilt and the feelings of regret and shame that come with it.

How do we forgive ourselves for the wrong choices we’ve made and the subsequent events that changed the direction of our lives and the lives of those we love?  How do we forgive ourselves for going off course and how do we move past the guilt and regret that plague us like a splinter throbbing deep under our skin?

Yet despite that burden of shame that we carry, it is in those wrong turns from which we grow stronger and learn, and it is in those bad choices we made that we are able to share the gift of forgiveness and healing with our readers.

If we look for those pivotal moments of our lives, or to the torment that follows us around like a shadow from which we are powerless to separate ourselves, it is possible to discover and develop a story of breakthrough and mending.

Part of the enjoyment of writing is the cathartic relief it provides as we work through our self-doubts and misgivings. As we sift through our mistakes and confront the cause of our guilt, analyzing what or who inspired us to make the choices we made, the story and its lesson will rise up like the proverbial phoenix rising up from the ashes of destruction.

When we look to the wrong turns we have taken and our regret over the choices we made, we often find ourselves asking what if?

What if I wasn’t in too much of a rush to kiss her goodbye that morning before she left for school?  Or-  What if I took more time to see the signs of his illness before he let it go so long that it became too late by the time he finally sought help?  Or- What if I did not let him take the car out that day, or what if I didn’t let her walk home from school? What if I did something wrong to cause the miscarriage that perhaps could have been preventedWhat if I did not get divorcedWhat if I had been a better daughter, mother, wife, sister or friend?

Often, it is not in the right turns we have taken that we find the most evocative stories but in the wrong turns. That is because readers want to connect with a story that resonates with their own self-doubts, torture and pain.  Our audience seeks a story to which they might turn for the answers to their own painful questions and to a place in which they won’t feel alone.

It is in the writer’s story that our audience looks to find their own stories.

The writer will open a vein to bleed in order to face the honesty she has been dodging. It is what we have been afraid to admit to ourselves that we can somehow confess on the page. It is that deep honesty of our guilt that gives rise to the story that transcends universally with our readers.  After all, which of us on this earth has not made a wrong turn in our lives to which we wish we could go back and re-do.   It is those wrong turns from which we gain the strength to rise from our own ashes of shame and regret and it is from those wrong turns from which we can eventually heal and ultimately, from which we discover our story.

If we look into our past for the moments we wish we could change, or to the decisions that led us down the wrong paths, we might finally recognize what really conflicts us, haunting us like an old ghost who won’t go away.

It is those stubborn old ghosts that trouble us and the wrong turns we’ve taken, and our courage to finally face and accept our choices that provide the inspiration we seek and ultimately, the gift of healing.

 

 

Taking action in the face of fear in order to achieve change.

     It is the start of a brand new year and with that comes a brand new vision, brand new goals and brand new ideas- or basically, the desire for or need to change!  Last year the themes of my monthly blogs centered around children’s books and while it was fun working on them it is time to change direction a bit. However, since it is The Writing Queen site’s five year anniversary this month, (yup- I can’t believe it either… Where does time go?) and since we are discussing change, I have decided to make my own change- to do something different this year with my blogs.

     This year’s blog theme will contain or come from an eclectic range of topics.  One month my blog may continue to focus on a children’s story (since I didn’t get enough last year!), another month I may take readers on a journey through a Y.A adventure I enjoyed while providing helpful writing advice for Y.A writers based on that story, another month I may write about an adult novel I appreciated, dissecting it as a way to learn what worked, and of course what didn’t work, for that particular author or for me as the reader, while another month my blog may come from a how to article borrowed from one of my favorite writing magazines or how to write books.  Additionally, – who knows- I might even throw in a blog or two with excerpts from some of the writing projects I am currently working on, though only enough to wet the reader’s appetite until and if the projects are ever fully completed.

     Basically, anything goes this year!  2018 will bring with it a real smorgasbord of Writing Queen blogs, with one common denominator, of course, as the only condition-  all of my blogs will continue to focus on some aspect of writing and reading. After all, the two go hand in hand- like morning and coffee, movies and popcorn or bread and butter!  Without good writing we won’t have good reading and without individuals who love to read there won’t be a need for good writing——- so, without further adieu, I give you my first blog of 2018 on writing and reading and because it IS the start of a new year, and time for change!

     Why is it that so many of us create new year’s resolutions only to eventually break them?  After tiring of the same old perspective and routine, or the same old self, we become eager for change, therefore;  we set a goal and cross our fingers that we will grow strong enough to attain it. In writing, as in life, many of us find it difficult to recognize we need to change, or to make decisions.  We struggle with going outside our comfort zone to try something new, to discard the tattered old process in which we write our stories, create our art work, or live our lives, therefore; we fail to attain the change we desire or need.   In order to secure change we must first realize and accept that there is the need to change to begin with.

     For instance, in Bob Mayer’s informative article in the February 2018 Writers Digest, he writes about making changes to our writing processes, and finding a way to fight our fears in order to accomplish success.

     Acknowledging that plots and characters “come and go”, the author points out that for successful writers, it is the passion for the process that must burn on that will lead us to success.  As we writers know, any good story will center around a fully rounded character arc, but in order to accomplish that feat the character must pass through three stages of change, just as we must do in real life if we want to achieve our resolutions, or simply clinch any goal. Those three stages include the moment of enlightenment ( such as the moment we come up with our new year’s resolutions (or we create a goal) because we realize we need to change something about our process, or about ourself. This stage is followed by the decision stage, which Mayer points out binds the character in a sudden obligation, either externally imposed or internally motivated.

     Finally, the third stage that actually accomplishes the change, and the one that has the most potential  to break our resolutions, or prevent us from procuring the change- if not realized, -the most difficult stage, is sustained action.  Through sustained action in which we have “trained” the new behaviors into becoming habit, we can obtain change.

     As Mr. Mayer indicates, most of us struggle with decisions, not because we are afraid of the decision but because we are afraid of making a mistake, or of failing. He further points out that the only way to become an artist is to take risk, or to accept that being wrong is an inherent process of creativity.  By testing different methods and identifying which areas you have the most trouble with, you can figure out… who you are as a writer, what type of story you most desire to write, what message you want to send, what idea excites you, what types of characters you want to create and what type of problems they will have as well as what changes they will or won’t attain as part of their character arcs. And you will figure out what changes you need to make to the process you use, or the path you take,  to work toward getting yourself across your finish line- whatever that may be.

     The author adds that fear of making a mistake or of failure is the number one problem facing every artist, just as it is for individuals in life, and it is that fear that should push us toward recognizing our need to change to begin with.  Courage, Mayer says in his article, is taking action in the face of fear.  Further, the author embellishes this idea with a great quote from essayist Anais Bin;

     “ Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage”.

     And, adds Mayer,  “so does our art”.   It is our passion channelled by our writing (or any ) process that fuels our courage.  Therefore, in order to attain and maintain sustained action, we – like the fully rounded character arcs we create, must first identify the need to change, make the decision to take the necessary action that will push us forward down the path, and keep at that action until the brand new process becomes a part of who we are as a writer, an artist, or as an individual.

     Just as our characters’ have a need to save the day, marry the guy, find the lost treasure, get the bad guy, or become a better or changed person, or whether the every day individual’s need to change includes a resolution to lose weight, exercise more, or save money, it will be possible to achieve that goal only as long as we push fear out of the way in order to clear our cluttered path toward success.

     Through identifying our need to change and taking sustained action in the face of fear, we can do anything we set our minds to do, even if it means ripping up the story we have worked on for three years that we know deep down isn’t working, or discarding the size two clothes in our closet that we know will never fit again.  It is taking action in the face of fear that will allow us to procure change, reach our goal, or achieve our ever faithful new year’s resolutions, this time for once and for all.